you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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