So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
