I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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