I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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