Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she smelled like a LAN party
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
