I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
