the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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