Porn is love you can see.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
