If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So apparently I’m into choking now
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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