Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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