Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
