You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
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Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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