I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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