I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
