Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
