if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
