the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
