i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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