This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
whose ass print is on the piano?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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