i can't believe i had my finger in that
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
