they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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