Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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