Will you blow on my dice?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
