she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
