you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
