omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
