Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
This toilet bowl is my home.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
