new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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