I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
