Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i drank out of a bidet.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
