My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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