Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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