he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
