I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i think my cat just said my name.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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