I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can I color on your dick again?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
