i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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