I am in a vortex of obligation.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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