I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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