He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I will pee on everything he values.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
