I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
