New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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