she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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