um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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