dude i'm inner monologue high
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My vagina is very pro this idea
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
