i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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