Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize