the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
