my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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