We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
