I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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