never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
