Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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