yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
