Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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