I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so explain again why im purple
no
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
