he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
