you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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