How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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