Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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