Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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