She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
