Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
