Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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