one might say we're banned from that church
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
