having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
