I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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