Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
