he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize