Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
that's an acceptable place to lick
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
