You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
